In Chapter 2 of your book, Forgiveness Is a Choice, you make the claim that if I try to forget offenses against me, then this is unhealthy. Why do you say that? Isn’t it healthy to put the past behind?
Yes, it is healthy to put the past behind if one does not deny the anger inside of oneself. My point in saying that trying to forget is unhealthy is this: So often we still remember the deep injustices against us. It often is unrealistic to completely forget what happened. We do not develop a kind of moral amnesia when we forgive. Instead, we remember in new ways, without the build-up of strong anger. We need to be gentle with ourselves when we remember details of cruelty against us. Such remembering does not mean that we have failed to forgive.