I have forgiven someone who is not interested in reconciliation. I am interested in reconciling. It is ok for me to continue to give the gift of forgiveness in the hope of an eventual reconciliation?

Yes, you can offer overtures of forgiving from a distance, but please be careful that you do not use forgiving as a manipulation of the other’s feelings. When you forgive, try to make the motivation the other’s well-being.  Try to forgive for the other and not for what you can get out of this.  Respect the other’s decisions for now.  In other words, as you forgive, you have the other’s best interest at heart and if he or she does not want to reconcile right now, part of your task is to accept this.  Be open to the possibility of a reconciliation, but try also not to push too hard at that reconciliation.

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Categories: Ask Dr. Forgiveness


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