On page 2 of your book, Forgiveness Is a Choice, you say that forgetting can be unhealthy. It seems to me that forgetting can be a good thing as I move on from the hurtful, unfair situation. Would you please clarify.

There are at least two different meanings to the term “to forget.”  The first one, which I see as unhealthy, is to suppress the knowledge that the other is a danger to you.  It is important to remember that some people are not “on our side.”  The second meaning of the term “to forgive” is to move on, as you say.  So, you can move on from a situation while you see the humanity in the other (as you choose to forgive).  As you see the humanity in the other, it is important to acknowledge the other’s weaknesses if he or she still has a pattern of behavior that is hurtful to you.

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Categories: Ask Dr. Forgiveness


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