Every time I try to make a decision to forgive, I find myself getting very angry all over again with the person who hurt me. What advice can you give me for committing to forgiveness so that I can start this process?

A key to entering into what we call the Decision Phase of forgiveness is to commit to doing no harm to the person who hurt you.  In other words, try to commit to not insulting this person or not speaking badly about this person to others.  Note that I am not suggesting a **positive** response such as cultivating, for now, empathy or compassion or even love.  Instead, I am advocating your refraining from the negative.  This commitment may help you to decide: Yes, I now want to move more deeply into a decision to forgive this person.

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