Archive for March, 2017

Question: I am wondering about the following situation. A person has tried to commit suicide because he or she was so despondent from another’s actions. The one who attempted suicide did nothing wrong. Will forgiveness (by the one who attempted) take a while to heal these deep wounds?

The deeper the emotional wound, then the longer the forgiveness process seems to be.  In a case like this, yes, it could take many months for the one who forgives to experience emotional relief and to conclude that he or she has forgiven.  Please keep in mind that the one who forgives does not have to become a perfect forgiver to experience emotional relief.
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A Specific Forgiveness Exercise for Couples

Those of you who have the absolute perfect spouse, please raise you hand……anyone?

Now, those of you who are the absolute perfect spouse, please raise your hand…..I see no hands up.

OK, so we have established that we are not perfect and neither is our partner. Yet, we can always improve. Note carefully that I am not suggesting that you read this to improve your partner. I write it to improve you, the reader.

Here is a little exercise that I recommend for any couple. Together, talk out the hurts that you received in your family of origin, where you grew up. Let the other know of your emotional wounds. This exercise is not meant to cast blame on anyone in your family of origin. Instead, the exercise is meant for each of you to deepen your insight into who your partner is. Knowing his wounds is one more dimension of knowing him as a person. As you each identify the wounds from your past, try to see what you, personally, are bringing into the relationship from that past. Try to see what your partner is bringing from the past to your relationship.

Now, together, work on forgiving those from your family of origin who have wounded you. Support one another in the striving to grow in theThe Forgiving Life-Cover virtue of forgiveness. The goal is to wipe the resentment-slate clean so that you are not bringing those particular wounds to the breakfast table (and lunch table and dinner table) every day.

Then, when you are finished forgiving those family members from the past, work on forgiving your partner for those wounds brought into your relationship, and at the same time, seek forgiveness from him or her for the woundedness you bring to your relationship. Then, see if the relationship improves. All of this is covered in greater depth in my book, The Forgiving Life.

Robert

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CORONA VIRUS MUSIC VIDEO

CORONA VIRUS MUSIC VIDEO

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