In your book, Forgiveness Is a Choice, you say, “Forgiveness offers the best hope of creating a new fairness out of the past unfairness.”  Why would fairness be given to someone who has been constantly unfair to me over the years?

When you forgive, you reduce resentment and therefore you reduce any tendency of wanting to get even or to seek revenge.  Being fair is the right way to live, avoiding regret and guilt over acting unfairly toward others.  If you start practicing forgiveness toward the one who hurt you (presuming that you do interact with one another), then this opens the door to greater inner peace for you.  It opens the door for a genuine relationship of fairness if the other sees the great gift you are giving by offering forgiveness.  If the other sees and appreciates your gift, then this could alter the person’s behavior toward greater fairness and reconciliation.

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Categories: Ask Dr. Forgiveness


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