I offended someone I love.  I have asked for forgiveness.  How can I be sure that the other truly is forgiving me rather than just stringing me along, still angry and subtly seeking some form of revenge?

A key in seeing whether or not the other is accepting your apology is this: Is the person not only using words (such as “I forgive you”) but also showing you that you are a valuable person?  Subtle put-downs without this sense of value will show you that the person is not yet forgiving.  This does not mean that forgiving will never happen.  Sometimes people go up and down in their forgiving and so the one who is seeking forgiveness needs patience to let the other do the work of forgiving that can take time.

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