Author Archive: directorifi

Regarding the process of forgiveness, I know that the Enright Process Model is flexible, allowing individuals to move forward or backward based on their personal progress. What is the minimum requirement (in terms of specific steps or psychological state) for someone to be considered to have achieved forgiveness within this model?

There are at least three indications that the person has forgiven: a) because part of the process is to understand what forgiveness is and is not, a person is able to self-evaluate whether or not the process is relatively complete. Please keep in mind that forgiveness is not a perfect activity. In other words, a person still may have residual anger or sadness remaining, but as long as the person is in control of his or her emotions, rather than having the emotions control the person, then it is safe to assume that the person has forgiven; b) as the late Lewis Smedes said in his 1984 book, Forgive and Forget, you know you have forgiven a person when you wish that person well; c) we have, free of charge at our International Forgiveness Institute, the Enright Forgiveness Inventory Short-Form that consists of 30 items with a range of scores from 30 to 180. A general approach is that if a person can score above the median of 105, then it is likely that the person has forgiven the one who was unjust.

Do you have empirically validated evidence that forgiveness reduces what you call resentment or irritability?  If so, can you share just one study showing this?

I would recommend the study by Yu et al. (2021) in which men in a maximum-security correctional institution took about six months to forgive people who abused them in childhood or adolescence. After this forgiveness intervention, the men went on average from clinically angry to normal levels, and this remained in a follow-up assessment six months later.

Here is that reference:

Yu, L., Gambaro, M., Song, J., Teslik, M., Song, M., Komoski, M.C., Wollner, B., & Enright, R.D. (2021). Forgiveness therapy in a maximum-security correctional institution: A randomized clinical trial. Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy, 28, 1457-1471..https://doi.org/10.1002/cpp.2583

I recently have been released from prison after a number of years. Do you have any stories of people, similar to me, who have been released and who have forgiven those who abused them when they were young?  I want to be free of this burden, and the sooner the better.

Yes, I would recommend a video by Sylvester Jackson, who was released from a maximum-security correctional institution. He has forgiven those who abused him when he was growing up.  Here is a link to that video: https://youtu.be/34GOxVE7HLI?si=Qf6v035iswJtKGnB

I am a Christian believer, and I am wondering if you can offer just one Bible passage to help me with my shame and self-condemnation. Thank you in advance for this.

I would recommend that you reflect on the ideas in Genesis 1 that all people are made in the image and likeness of God.  This idea is repeated in this same chapter.  If all people are made in God’s image, then you, too, are so made.  Given this reality, who are you as a person?  Are you more than your failings and sins in this life?  You also can confess your sins, which can alleviate guilt.

As just one more follow-up question, if I start to forgive on my own, I like your self-help book, Forgiveness Is a Choice. Would you recommend that I start there?

Yes, that book has been empirically supported, as its principles have been applied successfully in research on forgiveness interventions. If you decide to seek the help of a mental health professional, you could bring a copy of that book to this person, and both of you could discuss the contents of the book as you work on forgiveness.