Author Archive: directorifi
What is the difference between using insight in therapy and forgiveness therapy? For example, Sigmund Freud’s psychoanalytic approach is to make that which is unconscious now conscious. I know there is more to psychoanalysis than this, but it is a core issue in that kind of mental health treatment. How does forgiveness therapy differ from making that which is unconscious now conscious?
Forgiveness therapy in the Uncovering Phase of this approach does try to bring to consciousness the effects of unjust treatment onto the person’s physical, mental, emotional, and even spiritual well-being. Once the negative effects of the unjust treatment are uncovered (made conscious), the point is not to leave the treatment there but now to shift the focus to the one who acted unfairly, to expand one’s view of the other. The point is to help the client develop even a small amount of compassion, through mercy, toward this person. The result tends to be the diminishing of the resentment in the client’s heart.
Can you point me to one example from your studies in which anger diminished and stayed that way for many months following forgiveness therapy?
Yes, here is a reference to a research study that we did with men in a maximum-security correctional context. All of them were clinically angry at the pretest. At post-test, six months later, they went to normal levels of anger. At the six-month follow-up (six months after the post-test), they still were at the normal level of anger. Here is that reference:
Yu, L., Gambaro, M., Song, J., Teslik, M., Song, M., Komoski, M.C., Wollner, B., & Enright, R.D. (2021). Forgiveness therapy in a maximum-security correctional institution: A randomized clinical trial. Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy.https://doi.org/10.1002/cpp.2583
One of my colleagues said this about relaxation training: “It is only the tip of the iceberg.” In other words, there is a lot more to anger reduction than relaxed muscles. Why do you think this is the case?
I think this is the case because, once the client gets up off the couch from relaxing, there is a tendency for the anger to re-emerge in the heart. This is the case because the injustice is still a focus for the client, and that focus tends to have the anger come back after the relaxation ends. Forgiveness therapy tends to reduce the resentment (toward the one who behaved unjustly) and this then leads to a significant reduction in the anger that tends to stay away in the long term.
What is the difference between forgiveness therapy and a more traditional approach that focuses on the control of one’s anger, such as through relaxation training or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in which anger is controlled by how one thinks about a challenging situation?
Traditional approaches to treating anger focus specifically on the symptom of anger itself. You can see this clearly in the relaxation method. The person relaxes muscles so that the physical tightness and the feeling of anger can lessen. In forgiveness therapy, the focus is not on the symptom of anger. Instead, it is on the person who acted unfairly. As the client sees a vulnerable person (who acted badly), even a wounded person who displaced his own anger onto the client, then the anger has a tendency to diminish. In summary, traditional approaches focus on symptoms. Forgiveness therapy puts the focus on the other person as a person and this helps with anger reduction.
I have just one more question, my seventh follow-up question: Suppose I forgive unconditionally, without an apology from the other person. Does that render my forgiving incomplete?
No, it does not. Why? It is because you have done the best that you can. Your engaging in the moral virtue of forgiveness is not flawed if the other refuses your great generosity. I actually have an essay on the Psychology Today website addressing this very issue. Here is a link to that essay:
