Author Archive: directorifi
Reality Is Constructed
I was in conversation with a fellow academic recently and we were discussing the perceptions of history as they have emerged in Bosnia and Serbia as well as in Northern Ireland. We both have seen how opposing sides in an entrenched conflict tend to develop different stories of their histories. For example, let us take Bloody Sunday, 1972 in Northern Ireland, in which Irish demonstrators were shot by British soldiers. Even with commission reports trying to clarify definitively what happened that fateful day, both sides still have their advocates who make the strong claim that the other side shot first.
My colleague responded to this reality, that both sides construct their own histories, to say, “Reality is constructed.” Is this the case? Let us examine this because it has direct implications for forgiveness.
Is reality whatever we construct in our own minds? If so, then suppose a 6-year-old writes on his math quiz that 2+2=5. Suppose he says this is correct. He then is correct by this view (that reality is constructed) if—if—he continues to believe this true after the teacher marks it wrong and tries to explain the rules of mathematics to him, which he rejects. In Italian language class, if one student writes down that “horse” is translated as “cavallo” and another claims it is “ciuco,” and insists despite the protestations of the instructor, then both are correct. Why? Because they have constructed their own views and to construct one’s own views is to construct reality, at least that is the premise under consideration.
I hope you realize that we have just created a world of relativism in which the only right answer is the one each of us generates.
Yet, this cannot be the case because 2+2 is never 5 and a horse is never a donkey.
Is forgiveness, then, whatever we construct it as being in our own minds? Why would we wish to think this if the rules of mathematics and language (and rules of grammar for that matter) do matter? Why would something as time-honored as the rules of the moral virtues all of a sudden take on a relative twist to them when other, important rules for human interaction are absolute (not relative) and objective (not subjective in any meaningful sense)?
If you think about it, the basic understanding of what forgiveness is has not changed across historical time (if our starting point is the Hebrew scriptures), nor has it differed across the various ancient traditions of the Hebrew, Christian, Muslim, or Hindu systems.
“Reality is constructed.” I think that is a construction of some minds. And if that is true, that the statement itself is constructed, then why take the time to try to believe it? It simply came from someone’s mind who says that there are no definitive rules to reality. If this is so, then there cannot be a rule that “reality is constructed.” In trying to make an absolute and objective statement that we all construct our own reality, he just rendered his own premise false.
Long live the absolute and objective meaning of forgiveness. And what is that meaning? Let us start here: “What is Forgiveness?”
Dr. Bob
Starting the Journey of Forgiveness with Courage
It takes steadfast courage to finally decide, “I will forgive.”
So often we know in our mind, through reason, that forgiveness is the right path. Yet, we are hesitant to begin the journey. What if it proves to be too painful? What if I get lost along the way and do not know how to forgive? What if it comes out all wrong?
“Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires some of the same courage that a soldier needs. Peace has its victories, but it takes brave men and women to win them.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
We at the International Forgiveness Institute, Inc. are here to support you as you begin the life-giving journey of forgiveness.
Dr. Bob
Forgiveness and New Skills in Liberia
Robert is a soft-spoken 14-year-old who learned to use an AK-47 rifle when he was eight years old. “I was often really afraid,” he recalled. “Now I’m learning to be a carpenter, but I first want to go back to school before starting to work.”
Tom was 13 when he was forced to join a rebel group. “I was forced to fight because I was separated from my parents,” he said. “I am haunted by what we did during the war.”
At 17, Momo Famol is without a family and without work. He was 10 when soldiers he encountered forced him to the front. He fought so he could eat. “I’m happy there’s peace now in Liberia.”
These are the voices of former combatants in Liberia’s 14-year civil conflict who live together in a camp near Monrovia, the capital city. Here they have begun a transition back into their communities.
The camp is operated by United Methodist Committee on Relief (UMCOR). In partnership with other humanitarian groups, UMCOR provides a place where people like Robert, Tom, and Momo can live and find basic necessities, such as fresh drinking water and medical treatment, as well as trauma counseling and reintegration activities.
Thousands of soldiers demobilized at four such camps throughout Liberia in the first few years after the program began in 2004. Once reviled, they are now learning new literacy and work skills.
In the words of one camp missionary, “We must forgive all the excombatants. Jesus requires us to forgive without keeping score. Why do we continue our efforts? Because if only one young man or woman comes to understand the meaning of forgiveness, then it is worth the effort.”
Read the full story “Forgiveness and New Skills in Liberia.” Learn about the International Forgiveness Institute’s involvement in Liberia’s nationwide Forgiveness Education Program by reading the Feb. 26 post at Dr. Bob’s Blog.
A Report on Forgiveness Education in Liberia, West Africa
Because of the efforts of Josiah Cheapoo who runs Grace Network, and others at The Crossing, the International Forgiveness Institute, and the University of Wisconsin (all in Madison, Wisconsin, USA), a bold forgiveness education initiative has begun in Monrovia, Liberia, Africa.
Rebels in Liberia were known for their gruesome practice of hacking off limbs during the country’s 14-year civil conflict.
Liberia has emerged from a horrendous civil war in which over 250,000 people were killed. It took the efforts of some very brave women to stand in the chasm between the warlords and the innocent citizens to finally end the war.
Part of the reconstruction effort now is forgiveness education for children so that they can grow up with a sense of the inherent worth of all.?? It is hard to capture, torture, and kill someone whom you see as possessing the exact same precious inherent worth as you. Forgiveness education emphasizes this kind of thinking toward all.
To date, Mr. Cheapoo has been able to establish six “Community Centers” in which children gather to learn the life-giving principles of forgiveness. They learn the inherent worth of others by reading stories of Dr. Seuss and seeing how all people are special, unique, and irreplaceable.
Within these centers, 600 children are beginning to learn the lessons of forgiveness. We are also planning a “pen-pal” program among four 11th grade classrooms in Monrovia and one 11th grade classroom at Edgewood High School in Madison, Wisconsin.
We want students on each side of the globe to see a different perspective on life so that their views can be challenged, enriched, and begin to include the concept of forgiveness in their everyday lives.
We can’t wait for tomorrow because tomorrow always is filled with hope when forgiveness accompanies us on our life’s journey.
Dr. Bob
Editor’s Note: Read a related story in the Forgiveness News section of this website: “Forgiveness and New Skills in Liberia, Africa.”
Recovery and Forgiveness Follow Crash That Permanently Injures Doctor
KHON2, Honolulu, Hawaii – Dr. Theresa Wang was on her way home on Nov. 19, 2010, when an SUV heading in the opposite direction crossed the center line and crashed into her car. She suffered 22 fractures from her neck to her heels and was in a coma for more than a week.
Since then, Dr. Wang has undergone three rounds of major surgeries, incurred more than a million dollars in medical expenses, and is no longer able to practice medicine. Nonetheless, she has reached out to forgive the woman driving the SUV, Shakti Stream.
“As a doctor, I’ve seen people very bitter from all that,” Dr. Wang said. “But when you let it sink into yourself it just chews you up and you’re actually hurting yourself, and if I got bitter with her, I’m just letting her hurt me more, and I don’t really want to do that.”
Even though Stream’s insurance covered just a fraction of Dr. Wang’s medical bills, the doctor said she will not be pursuing a lawsuit against Stream.
“She’s just a young teacher, and my hope is that she will embrace some of my philosophy to help the community, help everybody else out and to really put a lot into those children. That’s what I’m really hoping. To me, that’s more than just paying my bills,” Dr. Wang said.
Read the full story: “Recovery, forgiveness after crash permanently injures doctor.”
