Author Archive: directorifi
Forgiveness: the Keystone of Human Values
Forgiveness can be “one way to reduce conflict and hostility, as well as to promote understanding and respect, to diminish unresolved hurt and pain that burdens many.” [1] Forgiveness is a choice, a decision, an act of bravery requiring courage; it is hard work.
That’s how Fr. Brian Cavanaugh characterizes forgiveness after researching and teaching forgiveness for 19 years, reading every piece of forgiveness literature he could get his hands on, and receiving feedback from hundreds of presentations, workshops and retreats.
A member of the Franciscan Friars, Third Order Regular (TOR), Fr. Cavanaugh has now written a scholarly yet intriguing and entertaining treatise on the subject. It was published earlier this year as a 2-part series by Pioneer Magazine, and can be accessed through these links:
“Forgiveness: the Keystone of Human Values”
Pioneer Magazine is published by the (PTAA) which was founded in 1898 in Dublin, Ireland. The Association’s mission is to address the problems in society caused by excess alcohol consumption and drug usage. Its vision is to “help to build a society where people live to their full potential and alcohol can be enjoyed in moderation, avoiding the ills that arise in society from excess in its use.” Pioneer Magazine is a monthly publication now in its 67th year.
You can access and order any of the nine books Fr. Cavanaugh has written by visiting “Books By Fr. Brian Cavanaugh, TOR.” You can also view and download his amazing collection of photos including hundreds of flowers, sunrises and sunsets, fall foliage, and winter scenes all on his website at “Fr. Brian’s Photo Galleries.”
[1] McCullough, Michael E., Kenneth I. Pargament and Carl E. Thoresen, eds. (National Institute of Mental Health). Forgiveness: Theory, Research and Practice. New York: The Guilford, 2000.
Future Forgiveness Again
Do you realize that your practicing forgiveness now may pay unexpected dividends for you decades from now? As an example, look at how the Amish community handled the tragedy in Pennsylvania in 2006. The world wondered how the community could stand in forgiveness after 10 girls were shot and 5 died. The answer: Forgiveness is part of their daily culture.
Please realize that each decision and each act of forgiveness now may pay great dividends for you and others 20 years from now. Forgiveness today is an investment in your future.
Robert
Future Forgiveness for You
To grow in any virtue is similar to building muscle in the gym through persistent hard work. We surely do not want to overdo anything, including the pursuit of fitness.
Yet, we must avoid under-doing it, too, if we are to continue to grow. It is the same with forgiveness. We need to be persistently developing our forgiveness muscles as we become forgivingly fit. This opportunity is now laid out before you. What will you choose? Will you choose a life of diversion, comfort, and pleasure, or the more exciting life of risking love, challenging yourself to forgive, and helping others in their forgiveness fitness?
Enright, Robert D. (2012-07-05). The Forgiving Life: A Pathway to Overcoming Resentment and Creating a Legacy of Love (APA Lifetools) (Kindle Locations 5359-5360). American Psychological Association. Kindle Edition.
I suffer from chronic anxiety. Will this alter how I go through the forgiveness process relative to those who are not suffering in this way?
Sometimes our anxiety comes from not feeling safe. Sometimes our not feeling safe emerges when others treat us unfairly. In other words, you may be expecting poor treatment from others now, even those who usually are fair.
A first step may be to think of one person who may have hurt you and at whom you still harbor resentment. You can forgive through the exact same pathway as described, for example, in the book, Forgiveness Is a Choice. With anger lessened, anxiety can diminish. Of course, this will vary for each person. We have to be gentle with ourselves as we learn to forgive, to give up anger, and to know with some confidence that we can meet the next interpersonal challenge with forgiveness, helping us to meet these challenges with less anxiety than in the past.
Medical, Psychology and Religious Professionals Learn About “The Healing Art of Forgiveness”
Orthodox Christian professionals in and allied to medicine, psychology and religion learned about “The Healing Art of Forgiveness” at an international conference held in Boston, MA, last weekend (Nov. 5-7).
Peli Galiti, Program Manager, International Forgiveness Institute
Peli Galiti, Ph.D., delivered the forgiveness workshop as part of the Annual Conference of OCAMPR–The Orthodox Christian Association of Medicine, Psychology, and Religion. She shared the stage at the Conference with distinguished speakers including: the Director of the Pediatric Psychiatric Care Program at the Montreal (Canada) Children’s Hospital; a psychotherapy and pastoral care specialist from Kitherona, Greece; and, a psychiatrist who is a priest in the Church of Greece and a Visiting Scholar at Harvard Divinity School.
Peli’s workshop included an Orthodox perspective of forgiveness, a synopsis of Dr. Robert Enright’s scientific research studies, and an overview of the Greek Forgiveness Education Program she established in Athens, Greece, two years ago with Dr. Enright’s guidance and which she now operates as Program Manager for the International Forgiveness Institute.
Peli was born in Athens where she earned her Ph.D. in Educational Psychology from the University of Athens before doing post-graduate work in family therapy at hospitals and medical centers in both the US and Greece. She now lives in Madison, WI, with her husband (a pediatric cardiac anesthesiologist at American Family Children’s Hospital) and their four children.
OCAMPR is an organization that “fosters interdisciplinary dialogue and promotes Christian fellowship among healing professionals in medicine, psychology and religion.” Its professional members have practices in medicine, nursing, mental health, psychology, ethics, theology, parish ministry, parish nursing, prison and community ministry, social services, and military, institutional and community chaplaincy.
Peli provided a similar presentation at the biennial Metropolis of Chicago Clergy-Laity-Philoptochos Assembly, Archon Retreat and Philoptochos Retreat held in Madison from Nov. 14th through Nov. 18th. The Greek Orthodox Metropolis of Chicago consists of thirty-four parishes in Illinois, with another twenty-four parishes in Wisconsin, Minnesota, Iowa, northern Indiana, and eastern and central Missouri.
