Ask Dr. Forgiveness
The fourth of 15 criticisms I see about forgiveness: To forgive is toxic. It hurts the forgiver because he now is giving in to the unfair person’s demands and this relationship, which is toxic, hurts the forgiver.
When you forgive, you need not reconcile if the other continues to abuse you. Forgiveness as a free will choice is not toxic. It can set you free of resentment even if you don’t reconcile.
The fifth of 15 criticisms I see about forgiveness: Forgiveness is a sign of internal moral weakness because you do not stand up for your rights.
As stated in the second point you asked, as you forgive you should ask for justice. This combination of justice and forgiveness is a sign of strength, not weakness.
The sixth of 15 criticisms I see regarding forgiveness is this: When traumatized by others, avoid forgiveness because it is a sign of disrespect toward the self.
When traumatized, it is your choice to forgive or not. If you forgive well, you offer yourself the opportunity of deep psychological healing. This is hardly disrespecting yourself.
The seventh of 15 criticisms I see about forgiveness is this: There is a “dark side” to forgiveness in that you let others take advantage of you.
The answer is similar to your points 2 and 4. You should ask for fairness when you forgive. This is not dark, but instead sheds light onto the problem so that you can solve that problem well.
The eighth of 15 criticisms I see about forgiveness is this: To forgive is to cancel the debt the other owes you and so you never get back what is due.
When you forgive, as stated several times now, you do not cancel justice. Yes, you can cancel any obligation the other person has in helping to heal your wounds, but even here your forgiving, to be more complete, involves kindness and even love (on its highest level) which goes way beyond canceling the other’s obligation to help you to heal.
