Tagged: “Anger”
I don’t get it. How can forgiveness reduce anger in the one who forgives?
Often, when people are treated deeply unjustly by others, they can experience anger and even an ongoing resentment that can last for years. As people forgive, they begin to see the offending person from a broader perspective than just those hurtful actions. As the forgivers see the worth in the one who offended, see the other as truly human, the anger toward this person begins to lessen.
Is forgiving others basically for the self or for the one who offended?
The essence of forgiveness is this: It is a moral virtue and all moral virtues concern the good of others. Therefore, when you forgive, you are doing this for the one who hurt you. A consequence of forgiving is that the self usually experiences well-being. So, forgiveness is an act of goodness toward others with a consequence of a benefit toward the self.
UPDATE – 2nd International Conference on Forgiveness in Israel Postponed
We had posted in September 2023 about the 2nd International Conference on Forgiveness occurring this coming July 2024 at Zefat Academic College in Israel. With the ongoing conflict in Israel the forgiveness conference has had to be postponed indefinitely, although the conference team hopes to reschedule for some time in 2025. Please click this link for the full announcement from The Forgiveness Conference Team at Zefat Academic College and read below for the original announcement about the conference.
Zefat Academic College in Israel will be hosting the 2nd International Conference on Forgiveness next summer, July 9-11, 2024. The conference website describes the conference as an event where ‘scholars, experts, and practitioners in relevant fields’ will present and discuss the following themes:
- Forgiveness as a human experience
- Forgiving within an intra/intercultural context
- The forgiver and the forgiven relationship
- Being forgiven
- Forgiveness, justice, and the law
- Forgiveness – values, virtues, and ethics
- Forgiveness in religious, social, and political conflicts
- Religious and spiritual perspectives on forgiveness
One of the keynote speakers is Dr. Suzanne Freedman, longtime member of the International Forgiveness Institute team! She will be giving a presentation entitled ‘Guidelines for Forgiveness Therapy: What Therapists Need to Know to Help Their Clients Forgive.’
If you are interested in contributing to the 2nd International Conference on Forgiveness yourself, you are invited to submit your application to present a lecture at the upcoming conference. You may choose to submit one or more types of presentation:
- Individual presentations
- Workshops
- Pre-arranged panels
The Conference Organizing Committee is unable to process email submissions so please ensure that all applications are submitted between September 1, 2023 and January 1, 2024 via this Google Form link.
All submissions will undergo peer review. Notifications of acceptance or rejection will be sent by February 1, 2024.
For more information about the conference and the types of submissions, please visit the conference website.
For further information, you may also contact the conference organizers at: forgivenessconferences@gmail.com
In your Discovery Phase of the forgiveness process, you discuss meaning and purpose in a person’s life upon forgiving others. What is the difference between finding meaning and finding purpose?
Meaning is the cognitive activity of answering the “why question” in a positive way regarding what was suffered. A likely insight gained is that I am stronger and more aware of others’ suffering, now that I have walked the forgiveness path. Thus, to find meaning is primarily a cognitive activity. Purpose concerns the actions that now flow from the meaning. If a person begins to see that forgiving has been a positive journey in making one stronger, more merciful, then one purpose that might flow from this insight is this: I now will commit to aiding others in their suffering, in helping them to forgive.
In my observing people who have been hurt by others, there seems to be a certain closed-mindedness that makes forgiveness difficult. Here is what I mean: People kind of close down to listening and discussing civilly with others once they have been hurt. Wouldn’t this closed-mindedness to open communication hinder forgiving?
I think you are conflating forgiving and reconciling. You can forgive a person starting within your own heart by committing to do no harm to the other, with a commitment to offering respect and eventually even love (in the sense of agape) toward that other person. This occurs even without communicating with the other person. Reconciliation, in contrast, does require listening and having open communication. So, when this listening and discussing civilly are closed down, this likely will hinder the reconciliation process, but not the process of forgiving.
