Tagged: “break free from the past”
Wall Street Journal Writer Suggests that Revenge Can Be Addictive and There Is One Best Cure for It
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On June 5, in the Wall Street Journal, James Kimmel Jr. reports on how he was bullied as a child, which led to him becoming an “aggressive attorney” as an adult. He realized that whenever he sought revenge or even imagined getting revenge, he felt better. As he researched the neuroscience of revenge, he discovered that the brain releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with feelings of pleasure and reward. This feel-good sensation kept him seeking or fantasizing about revenge until he decided to stop the cycle of revenge, dopamine, feel-good, and more revenge to release the dopamine. In his quest to break the cycle, he discovered that forgiveness is a means to halt the cycle of revenge, which in turn eliminates the need for more dopamine, thereby reinforcing the need for revenge. Forgiveness was the cure for him.
More on this story can be found here: https://www.newser.com/story/369842/revenge-is-like-an-addiction.html.
‘The Forgiving Life’ featured on Elevate Society website
There is a website entitled Elevate Society run by Tal Gur as the Chief Editor. On July 24, 2025 they published a beautiful description of our book, The Forgiving Life. Their description of the book shows that they definitely “get it” regarding our message of forgiveness. Their review can be found here: https://elevatesociety.com/the-forgiving-life-summary-review/
Is forgiveness actually possible, in a deep sense, if the one who did wrong does not apologize?
Your questions have good timing. This month’s blog on this website addresses your question. As you will see, a person can forgive without an apology coming from the other person.
When might forgiveness become enabling? I am afraid to forgive because it may give the other person the wrong idea that I am ok with his behavior.
Forgiveness in its true sense never becomes enabling. A misunderstanding may occur if either the forgiver or the one forgiven (or both) perceives forgiveness as condoning injustice. Yet, when people forgive, they can and should bring justice into the equation. In other words, as you forgive, ask something of the other so that the unfair behavior changes.
I have forgiven my partner for constant criticisms. Yet, the criticisms continue. I now am wondering if my forgiving is giving my partner implicit permission to continue the criticisms. Do you think this might be possible?
From what I can tell, you are forgiving without asking your partner to communicate with you in a more positive way. As you forgive, try to approach your partner when your anger is lower and ask about the possibility of communicating with you in a more civil and even loving way. It is not the forgiving that is the problem. It seems to me that a missing step is asking for the justice of better communication after you have forgiven.
