Tagged: “Enright Forgiveness Process Model”
What is one strategy you can share with me about getting children interested in forgiving?
If parents show an interest in forgiving, and the parents show that they (the parents) are drawn to this moral virtue (rather than seeing it as a grim obligation), then I think the children will begin to take an interest in forgiving, not be afraid of it, and even try it with the encouragement of the parents. When a parent is reading a picture book to children, as one example of a parent showing interest, let us suppose there is conflict between two story characters. The parent might consider a short stopping of the reading of the text and ask this: “Look at all this conflict going on the story. Now let us suppose that the characters started to forgive and receive forgiveness from one another. What might that look like? What do you think would happen if this one forgave and this one was sorry for acting badly?”
As you are aware, bullying in schools has become a big problem. In my reading, it seems that the focus mostly is on the victims of bullying. While this is a good thing, I wonder what your views are regarding the rehabilitation of those who are continually bullying others.
Yes, I do have a viewpoint on this and it is expressed in an essay I have written on this topic entitled, A New Approach to School Bullying: Eliminate Their Anger, at my blog site on the Psychology Today website. That essay can be found here:
We also have a free curriculum for educators and mental health professionals on our International Forgiveness Institute website here. A link to that curriculum is below:
Is there a common motivation that most people have for forgiving those who hurt hem?
There is no one reason why people forgive. I have written an essay on this topic entitled, 8 Reasons to Forgive, at my blog site on the Psychology Today website. That essay can be found here:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-forgiving-life/201804/8-reasons-forgive
From your own experience in being with other people, how do you think it is possible for some people to forgive horrendous acts (such as murder of a loved one and genocide).
Yes, I have seen people who have forgiven others for “horrendous acts.” For example, Marietta Jaeger forgave the murderer of her daughter. The High Medieval philosopher, Thomas Aquinas, would say it takes divine grace to infuse the heart with the moral virtue of charity. In other words, he would say that one cannot do this by oneself. It is an intriguing point, even a challenging one, for those without a transcendent faith. Marietta did acknowledge that it was the grace of God that made forgiveness possible for her.
Is it even possible to forgive without first reconciling? After all, how can you forgive when you cannot trust the other person?
Forgiveness is not about trusting the other person’s behavior. Instead, on its highest level, to forgive is to strive to love the other person, to acknowledge this person’s inherent worth as a person, even through your own pain caused by the other’s injustice. To offer this love, you do not have to trust that the other now will behave with moral goodness toward you. Forgiveness may open the door of your heart to consider reconciliation if the other’s behavior now is safe for you.
