Tagged: “Enright Forgiveness Process Model”
Why is it important for me as the forgiver to see that the one who offended me and I share a common humanity?
It is important so that you do not dismiss this person as less than you are. Both of you are persons and because each person is special, unique, and irreplaceable, this perspective can change our views of the other from condemnation to the idea that this is a person even when behaving badly. This may aid you in softening your heart toward that person as you forgive.
I have a follow-up question to the one I asked you about the Global Perspective. Because the Global Perspective, or seeing the common humanity between the one who was unfair and me, seems kind of abstract, will it take a long time for me to engage in the exercises of the Global Perspective?
Just because the Global Perspective is more abstract than the Personal Perspective, this does not mean that it will necessarily take you longer to work through this perspective. This is the case because, as I explained in my earlier response to you, this perspective is quite accessible as you see a common humanity between the two of you.
You talk of what you call a Global Perspective when trying to understand who the person is who acted unjustly toward me. Could you explain a little more about what this Global Perspective is?
The Global Perspective asks the forgiver to see what all people share in common. For example, each person has unique DNA, except for identical twins, who still are not the exact same because of different experiences in life. Therefore, each person is unique and this uniqueness makes each person special and irreplaceable. This is true also of the one who hurt you. It is true of you as well. As other examples of shared humanity, both of you need good nutrition and adequate sleep. When you are cut, you bleed and it is the same for the one who hurt you. Both of you are mortal and will die some day. The point of the Global Perspective is to see that both the one who offended and you share a common humanity.
I have a question about what you call the Cosmic Perspective when a person is trying to forgive and to understand the one who behaved badly. You say that this perspective is for those who have a transcendent perspective or a religious perspective. Can you think of how a non-religious person can appropriated the Cosmic Perspective?
Not all people who do not have a religious perspective want to take the Cosmic Perspective. For those who have an interest, I would recommend that they start by focusing on the non-concreted aspects of people, particularly the mind and rationality. The materialist philosophical perspective to date has not been able to account for the mind, which does not seem to have a physical cause because the mind and the brain are not the same. In other words, the person who is trying to forgive can see that all people, including the one who acted unjustly, share an abstract, transcendent issue and that is the presence of the mind.
What if the one who hurt me is not well known to me. How can I come to understand this person? Do I have to make something up about this person?
We help people walk through three different perspectives toward the one who was unfair to them: the Personal, Global, and Cosmic Perspectives. The Personal Perspective is the one that is the focus of your question because this perspective asks you to see the history of woundedness in this person, not to excuse what happened but instead to better understand the one who hurt you. If you do not know the person well, as you say, this Personal Perspective may not be possible for you. Yet, you now can take both the Global and the Cosmic Perspective. I explain these two perspectives in the next two questions because people have inquired about each of these.
