Tagged: “Enright Forgiveness Process Model”

Does forgiving another also include the belief that this person can change for the better?

No, to forgive another person does not mean that you, as the forgiver, believe that this other person can or will change.  To forgive is to offer compassion and the acknowledgement of the person’s humanity, regardless of the outcome of this belief.  This is one important reason why we have to distinguish forgiving and reconciling.  You can offer this compassion and recognition of the other’s humanity without reconciling if the other remains a danger to you.

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You emphasize anger in your forgiveness model.  Yet, I am not feeling anger. I am feeling pain.  Might you have missed this in your model?

I agree with you that pain occurs after being treated unjustly.  I think the sequence is as follows: 1) Someone is unfair to you; 2) Next comes shock or even denial; 3) Then comes pain, as you describe; 4) If the pain does not lessen or if you have no effective way of reducing and eliminating the pain, then you may become angry.

That anger can be at the person for acting unfairly, or at the situation, or even at the pain itself that resulted from the unfair treatment.  It is the anger, if it abides and deepens, that can lead to health problems (fatigue, anxiety, and so forth).  So, I emphasize anger within Forgiveness Therapy because it, in the form of excessive anger or resentment, can be dangerous to health, relationships, and communities.

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Apart from the idea that we are all made in the image and likeness of God, how can non-believers see the worth in other people?

Aristotle makes a distinction between potentiality and actuality.  If it is the case that all people have free will, then even when people behave badly, then they each have the potential to change, to actualize that potential and become better people to others.  According to the philosopher Kant, all people are ends in and of themselves and so should be treated as such.  The philosopher, Margaret Holmgren, argued for the position that all people, based on Kant’s idea, are worthy of respect.  So, there is room in different philosophies for the view that all people have worth.

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