You talk about “bearing the pain” in your books for the general public.  I am confused by that.  How do you distinguish between a) bearing the pain and moving on with strength and b) bearing the pain so that you see yourself as weak and give into a learned-helplessness mindset?

When people bear the pain with strength, they are willingly deciding to bear the pain for the one who was unfair.  It is one of the gifts given to the one who has been unjust so that the forgivers do not keep throwing the pain back to that person or to unsuspecting others.  When people succumb to weakness and learned helplessness, they do not necessarily have such a noble purpose of doing this for the sake of others.  Instead, when people fall into the learned helplessness mindset, they do not see the virtuous meaning of bearing the pain for others, including those who acted unfairly.

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directorifi
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