Tagged: “forgive”
How do I know when I truly want to start forgiveness?
A key issue is this: Have you explored what forgiveness is and is not? If you are confusing forgiveness with “just giving in,” or “moving on,” or automatically reconciling without trusting the person, then you may not be ready to start the forgiveness process. If you know what forgiveness is, are you motivated to forgive? As an analogy, how do you know when you are ready to start an exercise program? You first know the kinds of exercises that will benefit you, and you have the motivation to give them a try. I think it is similar with forgiveness.
Dr. Enright essay on the definition of forgiveness featured in UC-Berkeley publication
Dr. Robert Enright
On July 7, 2025, Robert Enright had an essay published within the Big Ideas section of the Greater Good Magazine of the University of California-Berkeley. The focus was on the definition of forgiveness. Click on this link to check out the article!
Can I forgive without empathizing with the one who hurt me? I am afraid to empathize because I do not want to get too emotionally close to that person.
If the other cannot be trusted, then your keeping your distance, both physically and emotionally, is reasonable. When you empathize with another person, you try to get a sense of that person’s inner world. You can do that and still conclude that the person is a danger to you (if this is true and not a stereotype) and so your knowledge of the person’s inner world is not an invitation to sympathize (feel sorry for the person to such an extent that you might forget the current dangers posed by the continuing unjust behavior). Seeing the other’s inner wounds does not mean automatic reconciliation.
A Hug for a Murderer?
Photo by Mohan Nannapaneni, Pexels.com
As reported in El Paso Matters (https://elpasomatters.org/2025/04/22/victims-sister-hugs-walmart-gunman-patrick-crusius-el-paso/) on April 23, 2025, Yolanda Tinajero lost her brother to murder by Patrick Crusius in 2019. When allowed to speak in court, she faced Mr. Crusius and said, “I feel in my heart to hug you very tight so you could feel my forgiveness, especially my loss. But I know it’s not allowed. I want you to see and feel all of us who have been impacted by your actions that has brought us all closer with God’s love, which shows you that this great city of El Paso is a very forgiving place to dwell in.” When the judge allowed it, she hugged the defendant as the judge wept.
Dr. Enright featured on radio interview and podcast this summer
Dr. Robert Enright
Two recent media interviews on forgiveness by Robert Enright are the following:
Live interview on the Voice of Islam Radio, London, United Kingdom, on the topic of forgiveness, anger, and humility, July 8, 2025.
Interview with Dr. Buck Joffrey and Nikki Leigh, Longevity Junky podcast, on the idea of forgiveness for health, June 25, 2025.
