Tagged: “forgiveness”
I am a religious person, a Christian, and I do not see any directive in scripture for forgiving oneself. Thus, I say it does not exist. What do you say?
I refer you to Mark 12:31 in the New Testament: “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” We are urged there to apply the moral virtue of love to ourselves. What is self-forgiveness? It is applying the moral virtue of love toward the self when you have broken your own standards.
For additional information, see Faith and Religion.
I have heard that self-forgiveness is impossible because you cannot be your own judge and be the defendant at the same time. What do you think?
Self-forgiveness does not take place in a court of law, but within the human heart. We judge our own behavior all the time: Was that the right decision? Was I overly harsh with my friend? When people reason that they have broken their own standard, then they can forgive themselves.
For additional information, see Self-Forgiveness.
I have heard a lot lately that certain offenses never should be forgiven. Incest is an example. So many say that a women who experiences such abuse is foolish to forgive, to offer mercy to the perpetrator. This makes me so sad for our society that lets bitterness cloud perception. In my view, forgiveness in this case literally is the only way to heal from the atrocity. She can set herself free. I am wondering what your view is of this.
I, too, see a strong tendency in some people to condemn those who forgive atrocities. Yet, forgiveness is one of those moral virtues that is the chose of the one who was treated unjustly. If a person chooses to forgive, this truly is the person’s free will decision and others should not stand in the way, insisting that their own will be the final decision. Even if forgiving is “the only way to heal,” we should not try to force others to forgive. This is because the choice whether or not to forgive belongs to the one injured. You could present the case for forgiving, but in the end, the other, upon weighing the evidence, needs to decide.
For additional information, see Forgiveness is a Choice.
New Manual for Mental Health Professionals Recommends Use of Enright Forgiveness Therapy
A hot-off-the-press instructional manual recommends that mental health professionals adopt and employ the Enright Process Model of Forgiveness when counseling individuals who profess Pentecostal and Charismatic Christian beliefs. Those two movements together make up about 27% of all Christians and more than 584 million people worldwide, according to the Pew Research Center.
The new book, Counseling and Psychotherapy with Pentecostal and Charismatic Christians, was written by Geoffrey Sutton, a licensed psychologist and prolific author who has experience providing services to Christians from many traditions. Born in London, England, Sutton is a Professor of Psychology (Emeritus) at Evangel University in Springfield, MO, who has 14 books available on amazon.com.
“Clinicians would be advised to learn a specific approach such as the Enright Model. . .” Sutton recommends in his book. “Both of the major forgiveness intervention programs (Enright and REACH) are supported by scientific evidence of effectiveness.”
Sutton’s endorsement of the Enright Model of Forgiveness is actually a complete turnaround from his earlier positions on Christian counseling. For example, Sutton wrote a paper for the Christian Association for Psychological Studies that said a “well -articulated, comprehensive, and integrated approach to Christian counseling does not exist today.” That was at the organization’s 2015 annual meeting.
In his latest book, Sutton begins by providing an overview of religion, spirituality, and Christianity before focusing on the Pentecostal-Charismatic Christian movement that he traces back to the early 1900s. He then provides six chapters on patient assessment, counseling techniques, and interventions with special emphasis on the forgiveness interventions he now embraces because he believes they are adequately supported by empirical evidence.
“For committed Christians, spiritual identity is a substantial component of the self,” Sutton writes. “The purpose of this book is to help mental health professionals increase their cultural competence to better serve Pentecostal and Charismatic Christians who are congregants in the world’s fastest-growing religious movement.”
Learn more:
- Christian Movements and Denominations Defined
- Read selected portions of Sutton’s new book
- Pentecostal Cultures: Classic, Evangelical, Progressive, Renewal – Geoffrey Sutton Slide Presentation
Can being angry have positive consequences?
Yes, if the anger is short-lived and is a call to action to right a wrong. My worry, as spelled out in the book, Forgiveness Therapy, with Dr. Fitzgibbons, is anger that becomes prolonged (months or years) and intense. This can lead to a host of psychological compromises. We need to make the distinction between healthy and unhealthy anger.
For additional information, see How do I know if my anger is healthy or unhealthy?
