Tagged: “forgiveness”

Isn’t forgiveness incomplete if there is no reconciliation?

No, actually, forgiveness can be complete even if there is no reconciliation.  One of the primary goals of forgiveness, in its ideal sense, is to reconcile, thereby restoring trust and harmony in the relationship.  Yet, as Louis Smedes says in his book Forgive and Forget, forgiveness is for imperfect people.  As you forgive, the other may reject this merciful offer and continue with unjust actions.  In this case, you can be free of any resentment even though the goal of a restored relationship (if there was a relationship before the injustice) does not occur.

Wall Street Journal Writer Suggests that Revenge Can Be Addictive and There Is One Best Cure for It

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On June 5, in the Wall Street Journal, James Kimmel Jr. reports on how he was bullied as a child, which led to him becoming an “aggressive attorney” as an adult. He realized that whenever he sought revenge or even imagined getting revenge, he felt better.  As he researched the neuroscience of revenge, he discovered that the brain releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with feelings of pleasure and reward.  This feel-good sensation kept him seeking or fantasizing about revenge until he decided to stop the cycle of revenge, dopamine, feel-good, and more revenge to release the dopamine.  In his quest to break the cycle, he discovered that forgiveness is a means to halt the cycle of revenge, which in turn eliminates the need for more dopamine, thereby reinforcing the need for revenge.  Forgiveness was the cure for him.

More on this story can be found here: https://www.newser.com/story/369842/revenge-is-like-an-addiction.html.