Tagged: “Misconceptions”
I am a Presbyterian Christian. If I am offended with the way my life is going, is it all right to forgive God?
No, actually, it is not all right to forgive God. Your belief system says that God is holy and perfect in every way. Therefore, God cannot behave unjustly. Thus, God cannot be unfair to you and so there is nothing to forgive. If you went down that path of forgiving God, you would have faulty theology, with the assumption that God can act unjustly, which is not possible.
My boyfriend does not want me to forgive him. He says I am misinterpreting his motives. If I want to forgive him, is it ok to just come right out with it and proclaim, “I forgive you!”
You can forgive from the heart without proclaiming it directly to him if this will offend him. He likely will see your forgiveness with your renewed smiles and positive responses to him. You can proclaim your forgiveness within yourself without proclaiming it to him.
Thank you for your answer to my question about time. Would you please provide here the reference to the Hansen research?
Yes, here is the reference to the Hansen research:
Hansen, M.J., Enright. R.D., Baskin, T.W., & Klatt, J. (2009). A palliative care intervention in forgiveness therapy for elderly terminally-ill cancer patients. Journal of Palliative Care, 25, 51-60.
Here is a copy of that work:
https://internationalforgiveness.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/Cancer-Patients.pdf
Don’t you think that time is more important than forgiveness? With patience, won’t angers toward offending people just melt away?
If the offense was deep and the resultant hurts are significant, time alone will not necessarily “melt away” the angers. For example, Mary Hansen did a research study with elderly women in hospice. Some of them were carrying resentments In their hearts for decades before they forgave. Time, in other words, does not necessarily “heal all wounds” as the saying goes.
I don’t get it. How can forgiveness reduce anger in the one who forgives?
Often, when people are treated deeply unjustly by others, they can experience anger and even an ongoing resentment that can last for years. As people forgive, they begin to see the offending person from a broader perspective than just those hurtful actions. As the forgivers see the worth in the one who offended, see the other as truly human, the anger toward this person begins to lessen.
