Tagged: “Misconceptions”

How do you correct a young child who equates forgiveness with revenge?

July 21, 2026 directorifi No comments

A first step is to talk about seeing mercy in the world. Then, this can be slowly applied to injustices, with the caveat that one can show mercy toward offending other people and, at the same time, strive for justice so that the injustice can be corrected.

You discuss how a child learns forgiveness from their family, friends, and someone of higher authority. What must a child learn specifically as the first step toward understanding forgiveness?

July 21, 2026 directorifi No comments

Actually, the most important part of children learning to forgive is teaching them what forgiveness is and how to forgive. An important initial step for the children is for them to see that forgiveness is a moral virtue of goodness toward those who hurt the child’s heart. This can take time because it is counterintuitive in societies that put almost all of their emphasis on justice rather than mercy.

During your forgiveness interviews with children and adults, what has surprised you the most?

July 20, 2026 directorifi No comments

I would say that my biggest surprise is that many people (even the vast majority) do not have an accurate understanding of what forgiveness is. Too many adults, for example, equate forgiving with “just moving on,” which is not what forgiveness, as a moral virtue of goodness toward those who have offended, actually is. This points to the need for forgiveness education for children, adolescents, and adults.

Of the things children are taught about forgiveness, what do you find to be something to avoid?

July 20, 2026 directorifi No comments

Perhaps the most important issue is to be careful not to subtly set up the expectation that they **must** forgive. This does not help them be drawn to forgiveness.