Tagged: “Why Forgive?”
How to Move Past Resentment
A 54-minute podcast called “How to Move Past Resentment with Dr. Robert Enright, Founder of the International Forgiveness Institute” was released today and is now available free of charge on The Growing Through It Podcast network and major podcast channels.
“When someone wrongs, hurts, or violates us, we get angry,” according to podcast host Jen Arnold. “If we hold on to that anger and resentment it can fester, leading to increased stress, negative emotions, poorer mental health, a weakened immune system, and higher blood pressure. In this podcast, Dr. Enright outlines how can you get past the anger so you can get on with your life.”
The interview with Dr. Enright is episode 23 of the podcast series that Arnold has been taping and airing since last year. The series, she says “offers advice, real conversations, and stories of personal setbacks to help you grow from your challenges.”
Don’t just go through it. Grow through it.
Jen Arnold
Dr. Enright opens the podcast interview by defining what forgives is and what it’s not (since forgiveness, he says, is so often misunderstood). He goes on to explain what happens when people hold on to resentment before walking listeners through his process for forgiving others and forgiving one’s self as well as how to ask for forgiveness.
Jen Arnold is the founder and CEO of Redesigning Wellness, Inc., a company that offers resilience training to individuals and employee groups. She defines resilience as “the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress.” Forgiveness, she adds, is an important component of that adaptation process.
Learn More:
- Listen to the entire podcast interview with Dr. Enright.
- View all The Growing Through It Podcast episodes.
- Visit the Redesigning Wellness website.
Forbes: Forgiveness has “Immense Benefits”
Forbes Magazine is undeniably one of the most highly read news publications in the world. With 49 global editions licensed in 83 countries and printed in 28 languages, it reaches more than 140 million people worldwide on a monthly basis through direct subscription and its website.
Now the 105-year-old publication has teamed up with medical experts to tout the “immense benefits” of forgiveness on both mental and physical health in an article titled “Forgiveness: How to Forgive Yourself and Others.” It was published on Aug. 31, 2022, and received the coveted Forbes Health Advisory Board seal of approval.
“The benefits of forgiveness greatly outweigh holding a grudge, and can affect both mental and physical health in profound ways,” according to the article. “While forgiveness may feel impossible in certain circumstances, forgiveness experts—yes, this is a real field of study—say that forgiveness can be learned no matter how great the offense. Even if the person you have the hardest time forgiving is yourself, this too, they say, can be learned.”
The Forbes article relies extensively on the work of Dr. Robert Enright and calls him “a pioneer in the scientific study of forgiveness” and “a leading expert on forgiveness.” Dr. Enright is a professor of educational psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison and co-founder of the International Forgiveness Institute who last year was awarded the 2022 American Psychological Foundation Gold Medal Award for Impact in Psychology.
“As you can see, all the ways of practicing forgiveness as well as its benefits aren’t really about the person who wronged you; it’s about yourself,” according to the Forbes article. “Forgiveness isn’t easy, but it can be done. When you commit to putting it into practice, your mental and physical health will both be better for it.”
“Clearly forgiveness has immense benefits.”
Forbes Magazine
Here are the scientifically-demonstrated benefits of forgiveness cited in the article:
Mental Benefits of Practicing Forgiveness
- You experience less anxiety when you forgive
- Inability to forgive and depression can be linked
- You feel more hopeful and empowered when you forgive
- You’re less likely to hurt others
Physical Benefits of Practicing Forgiveness
- Forgiveness is good for your heart
- It’s associated with better sleep
- Forgiving supports the immune system
In addition to lauding the benefits of forgiveness, the article includes a helpful list of “10 Ways to Practice Forgiveness for Yourself and Others.”
Read the full Forbes Magazine article.
I recall that there was a quotation from Aaron Beck on the back cover of your first book for mental health professionals, Helping Clients Forgive. I no longer have that book cover. Would you please restate Dr. Beck’s quotation for me? It had to do with Forgiveness Therapy being stronger than Cognitive Behavioral Therapy when people are treated very unjustly by others.
Yes, I can provide that. Here is Dr. Aaron Beck’s quote on the back cover of the book, Helping Clients Forgive, by Enright and Fitzgibbons (2000): “Anger and the wish to punish a family member or friend for past grievances often remain resistant to the most useful cognitive-behavioral approaches. In this volume, Enright and Fitzgibbons show how forgiveness can help to finalize past resentment and allow people to lay their past grievances to rest. This is essential reading for anyone working with patients, as well as for those people who cannot relinquish past hurts.”
I am in graduate school studying to be a mental health professional. Held in high regard is the issue of insight. The point is to break down the psychological defenses so that the person now is aware of what is causing the anger or the anxiety or the discontent. How does forgiveness compare and contrast to the call for insight?
In our Process Model of Forgiveness, we have four phases. The first phase asks the client, when that client is ready, to see the amount of anger in the heart, caused by other people’s unfairness. There is more to this phase than just this, but my point is that we do make room, lots of room in fact, to explore the psychological defenses and to gradually see how current and persistent anger is connected to unfairness toward the client that might have occurred many years ago. Yet, awareness or what you are calling insight is only the beginning of Forgiveness Therapy. In other words, as a person now sees the depth of anger, what does the person now do to get rid of that anger? We find that insight is not enough. It is in deliberately reaching out to those who acted unfairly with the moral virtue of forgiveness, this has a way of softening the heart and thus reducing the anger to manageable levels. In other words, when deeply hurt by others, the inner trauma is not reduced to an important degree without forgiveness, which the client must freely choose for the self.
FORGIVENESS IS A GIFT
Over the past 20 years, Joe Daguanno has climbed the corporate ladder at the Mid-West Family of Companies to become Chief Profit Strategist – Partner. That means he is a media, branding, and advertising professional who excels at revenue generation. He’s also a pretty good, and consistent, blogger.
What’s up in the Cosmos? is the title of Daguanno’s personal blog that he has been writing for the past dozen years. His recent Dec. 20 blog post was titled “The Gift of Forgiveness.” Here’s a brief excerpt:
Joe Daguanno, Chief Profit Strategist – Partner, Mid-West Family of Companies
Forgiveness is a gift. It’s love. It’s generosity. It’s mercy.
As we give this gift, we heal.
Holding a grudge acts like a tourniquet to the flow of healing. It closes the heart and the wounds remain open.
Real forgiveness takes strength. It takes courage. It takes honesty. It takes time.
But it’s worth it.
So very much.
Daguanno’s depth of perception about forgiveness developed several years ago when he met Dr. Robert Enright, forgiveness research pioneer and founder of the International Forgiveness Institute (IFI). That encounter led Daguanno to spearhead development of a series of public service announcements that were broadcast hundreds of time on Wisconsin Public Radio and by numerous commercial radio stations throughout the Midwest—all at no cost to the IFI.
As his title references, Daguanno is a partner in Mid-West Family of Companies—an alliance of more than 40 radio stations covering 8 separate geographic markets–all assembled by the late Dr. William Walker and his son Thomas Walker. Dr. Walker co-founded the IFI along with Dr. Enright in 1995. Thomas Walker continues to provide the IFI with both financial and hands-on support through the Walker Family Trust.
Read Daguanno’s full Dec. 20 blog: “The Gift of Forgiveness.”
