Are you sure that forgiveness is a process? I have been taught that if I say, “I forgive you,” that is sufficient and forgiving has been completed.

Saying, “I forgive you” is a good step if you truly mean it from the heart. People can say, “I forgive you” to a boss who requests forgiveness, but the “I forgive you” is said insincerely to keep a job, as resentment remains. In other words, saying “I forgive you” can be part of forgiving, but please keep in mind that forgiving includes an internal transformation of reduced anger and a softened heart toward the one who offended. If deep anger remains in your heart, then you may need to reduce that anger, otherwise you could be trapped with resentment for a long time to come. That would not be fair to you or to a genuinely improved relationship.

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Categories: Ask Dr. ForgivenessTags: , , , ,


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