Tagged: “Barriers to Forgiveness”
Dr. Enright’s essay on how forgiveness can be tricky featured on Psychology Today website
Dr. Robert Enright
On July 22, 2025, Robert Enright published an essay on the Psychology Today website:
5 Expressions of Forgiveness That Can Trick Even the Forgiver, July 22, 2025
The essay was designated as an Essential Read and featured on the front page of the website, subsequently distributed to other media outlets.
Can there be true justice without forgiveness? If so, can you provide an example for me?
Here is an example of justice occurring without forgiveness: Suppose a person is arrested and convicted for assault. Justice has been realized in a court of law. The one assaulted may choose not to forgive. Even so, justice was served. The two, forgiveness and justice, need not occur together, but when people forgive, they can and should seek justice.
Can forgiveness alter the identity of the one who forgives? If so, how?
We address this issue in the book, The Forgiving Life. As people continue to practice forgiveness, they can, as Aristotle instructs, begin to develop a love for the virtue. When this occurs, the one who forgives may begin to see oneself as a forgiving person. This basically alters a person’s identity: “I am a forgiving person.”
You have said that self-forgiveness may take more time than forgiving others. Why do you say this?
In my experience, we tend to be harder on ourselves than we are on other people. As a result, it may take longer to forgive oneself. This is why I recommend that people new to self-forgiveness first practice forgiving another person or two to get familiar with the pathway of forgiveness before attempting to forgive themselves.
Isn’t forgiveness incomplete if there is no reconciliation?
No, actually, forgiveness can be complete even if there is no reconciliation. One of the primary goals of forgiveness, in its ideal sense, is to reconcile, thereby restoring trust and harmony in the relationship. Yet, as Louis Smedes says in his book Forgive and Forget, forgiveness is for imperfect people. As you forgive, the other may reject this merciful offer and continue with unjust actions. In this case, you can be free of any resentment even though the goal of a restored relationship (if there was a relationship before the injustice) does not occur.
