Tagged: “forgive”
As a follow-up to my recent question about forgiveness being exclusive to Christianity (and thank you for the clarifications), don’t you think that religions put pressure on people to forgive? If so, then I am not a fan of religion. What do you think?
Please keep in mind that most religions emphasize free will. The idea and importance of forgiveness are emphasized for the believers and then it is up to them to exercise their free will and to forgive or not. Also, in your criticism of “putting pressure on people to forgive,” I think you are missing a vital point. Here is an analogy: Parents (who are good parents) want their children to grow up to be good adults. Therefore, the parents emphasize that their children show respect to others. Is this “putting pressure on the children to show respect,” or is it something much more beautiful than pressure? The point of emphasizing respect is to aid the children to grow in the goodness of humanity, not to put some kind of grim pressure on them that makes no sense toward their humanity. It is the same with forgiveness, which can aid a child to have mercy on others, to be patient and kind to others, and thus to be deeply human. This is very different from a grim pressure that bears no fruit. It is similar in religions that emphasize the free-will exercise of forgiveness. These belief systems are showing the believers a beautiful way of being human.
I hope you do not take offense at what I am about to say because I know your organization tries to play fair about forgiveness. It seems to me that forgiveness is just a power play for Christianity to control people. Here is what I mean: Forgiveness is emphasized in the Christian Bible, and so as you emphasize forgiveness, you are emphasizing Christian thought and not other philosophies or religions.
You are correct that forgiveness has a rich tradition and is emphasized in Christianity, but you fail to correctly show that forgiveness has a valued place in many different world philosophies and religions. Please take a look at one of our recent blog posts in which we show, across 26 world communities, that forgiveness is a word that is used in each of these communities:
The 26 communities vary widely in their philosophies and religions. Forgiveness, in many cases, could serve as a discussion among groups that are in conflict with each other because, in many cases, each side has an honored place for forgiveness.
Why do you say that forgiving is a moral virtue when I often read that some scholars simply say that to forgive is to reduce anger toward the offending person?
As stated in my most recent answer here, a person can pardon another because the offended person sees the offending person as low in humanity. The same is true for reducing anger. An offended person can reduce anger because he sees the other as not worth the effort and as being low in humanity.
May I disagree with your definition of forgiving? You say that it is offering mercy to the one who was unjust, but one dictionary I consulted said that it is remitting punishment. So, I am confused.
Those who write dictionary definitions of something as deep as forgiveness do not necessarily get it right by offering one quick sentence. To remit a punishment is often seen as pardon, not forgiveness. For example, a judge in a court of law who cancels a parking ticket even though the person is guilty is offering pardon, in this case, legal pardon. If all a forgiver does is cancel punishment, this can be done for any number of reasons, including the harsh judgement that the offending person is so low in humanity that he just does not understand what justice actually is. This condemnation of the other’s humanity is hardly a moral virtue, as forgiveness is.
I have given up on therapy because my therapist suggested forgiveness. I do not want to just give in and say, “Okay, I forgive you. What you did was not so bad.” Can you offer me some advice on this?
I think you are misunderstanding what forgiveness actually is. When we forgive a person who acted unjustly, we do not make excuses for the behavior. That behavior was, is, and always will be seen as unjust. You are not letting the unjust behavior go, and you are not saying that it “was not so bad.” You are offering mercy to the person without condoning the behavior when you forgive.
