I would like to have a little debate with you on the issue of forgiving and apology from the offending person. My first question is this: Isn’t it selfish to forgive before the other apologizes? I say this because it seems that the forgiving then is all about the self to feel better rather than about a concern for the well-being of the one who is acting badly.
There can be a number of motives for forgiving prior to the other person’s apology. Yes, one motive might be for the one who forgives to feel better. Here is another motive: to reduce anger so that civil dialogue can start between the two people. Here is another: Someone might forgive so that anger is not displaced on innocent other people. Selfishness need not be a primary or exclusive motive to forgive before the other person apologizes.
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