Tagged: “Forgiveness Process”
Can we actually grow through our suffering? In other words, is suffering just for nothing, or can we find meaning in it?
The psychiatrist Viktor Frankl made the fascinating point that we can find meaning in any area of our lives, including in suffering. He asked us in his classic book, Man’s Search for Meaning: What can we learn from the difficult challenges of life? Some people say that, when they suffer injustices from others, this makes the one who suffers more aware of other people’s suffering. Others say suffering makes them more patient. Religious people say that it draws them closer to God as they rely on grace and trust in a reasonable outcome. So, yes, people can grow in their humanity as they suffer.
What do you suggest that I do in the following situation? I now am part of a peer group that seems to be against forgiveness. The members of this group suggest that forgiveness is weak and we need to be tough and fight for justice. How do I stay true to forgiveness under these frustrating conditions? Should I just leave the group? We have common interests, such as sports, watching movies, and supporting one another.
If you want to stay in the group, you need to respond internally—in your own mind — each time an untrue statement is made about forgiveness. Resolve the issue in your own mind first. Do you think you can, at least at times, gently answer a statement of weakness by saying, “Here is another perspective. To forgive requires great courage because the forgiver is offering mercy to those who were not good to the forgiver. If someone can do that and, at the same time, strive with respect for justice, would you call that weakness?” You then can point out that a person can forgive and seek justice because these are not mutually exclusive. You might end up changing minds as you speak the truth about forgiveness.
One more issue with my past materialist philosophy: Not only would forgiveness be out the window, but so would love. What would love mean from a neurological perspective?
Excellent question. As in the case of forgiveness, love from a materialist perspective obliterates original thoughts toward others, unique feelings, well-formed choices about how to serve the other, and, basically, how to truly grow in our humanity. It would render the idea of moral growth in our personhood impossible.
Thank you for your important idea on free will. I like it because it makes us agents of our own morality. I think it makes us more human than the idea that all we are is derived from our biology. The exclusive biological philosophy can lead to despair because we lack goals we can form and strive to achieve. Thank you.
Yes, an extreme neurological view of humanity takes away free will and therefore takes away our choice to act in a morally good or bad way. It basically takes away all moral virtues because, by definition, all moral virtues involve a free-will choice to be good in some way. Forgiveness, therefore, would be an illusion from the viewpoint of your previous philosophy.
What would you suggest to me about my worldview that I want to change. I basically have been duped into taking a strict materialist or neurobiological view of the world. This emerged from some of my reading. Here is what I mean: Some kept saying that we are what our neurons are. We are what our brainwaves are. That’s all we are. Now I see that this is nonsense because it has the hidden assumption that we are all robots. OK, it’s your turn. How would you respond to this, given your studies of forgiveness?
If we are nothing but robots wired to respond without our thinking, without our desires, then we never can truly forgive. Forgiveness assumes that people can choose to act unjustly. We assume that injustice is bad because the person had a choice to behave differently, more fairly. We assume that each person has free will, and this can and should be applied in such a way as to better other people and to better ourselves. What do you think?
