I need some help in understanding what you mean by “bearing the pain” as part of the Work Phase of forgiveness. For example, do I reinterpret the pain as not so bad? Would you please elaborate on this for me? Thank you in advance.
When we use the term “bearing the pain,” we do not think that it has to include a re-interpretation of the pain in its initial stages. The key is this: a) realize that you are in pain; b) realize how much pain you are in; c) be willing to stand with that pain no matter what. In other words, you are accepting what is happening to you so that you do not deliberately or unwittingly give that pain to others.
Later in the forgiveness process you will begin to see new meaning for your life as you bear the pain. You see that you are growing stronger. You see that you can overcome tremendous pain. You see that you can be a conduit of good for others. These new meanings take time to emerge. A first step is to accept the pain as it is and through the process of forgiveness this pain starts to diminish and then leave.
