Tagged: “forgiveness”
I think it is wrong to forgive people for certain offenses. For example, a murderer of a parent’s child is just too much. I think we need to draw the line, and this is one of them for me. What do you think?
Even if some people refuse to forgive those who perpetrate certain kinds of injustices, there are people who do forgive under such circumstances. Therefore, the conclusion is this: All offending people are forgivable, regardless of the offense, for those who choose to forgive. There are those who will refuse to forgive people for certain offenses. Yet, this does not support the conclusion that we cannot forgive the perpetrators of these wrongdoings.
I think that self-acceptance is better than self-forgiveness because it avoids the controversy that a person cannot actually forgive the self. What do you think about this?
As you can see from the other recent posts here, I have responded to criticisms of self-forgiveness, concluding that it is a reasonable approach when a person is engaged in self-loathing. Self-acceptance does not go as far as self-forgiveness. In other words, when you deeply self-forgive, you are loving yourself again, after a possible period of excessive self-condemnation. Self-acceptance does not necessarily include loving the self; it might instead involve tolerating or even respecting the self, without the added, higher challenge of trying to love the self as you love others. So the two are not the same, and I see self-forgiveness as the higher moral path.
I read a while back one of your essays on self-loathing and forgiveness. Can you point me in the right direction so that I can re-read that essay?
Yes, that essay was published on Psychology Today’s website here:
The Cure for Self Loathing? Self-Forgiveness, July 22, 2017
What Does Forgiveness Entail?
Photo by Ann H, Pexels.com
On January 26, 2026, Richard Balkin, a professor at the University of Mississippi, published an article on the website The Conversation discussing forgiveness. In two places on the site, he defines forgiveness this way:
- “At its core, forgiveness is internal: a way of laying down ill will and our emotional burden……”
- “……forgiveness comes when we relinquish feelings of ill will toward another.”
Is this philosophically correct? We would say no because it is reductionistic, focusing on only half of the equation when it comes to the moral virtue of forgiveness. If forgiveness is a moral virtue, then, as a moral virtue, it concerns goodness toward others. More specifically, when it comes to forgiveness, the person is exercising goodness toward the one who behaved unjustly. This would involve not only the free-will attempt to reduce or eliminate “ill will” but also, to be more complete, its essence needs to include the struggle to offer positive feelings, thoughts, and behaviors toward the other person as well, even if the other is no longer in the forgiver’s life. In other words, even without reconciliation, a forgiver can speak well of the offending person to others. Reducing ill will and offering goodness captures the essence of forgiveness more accurately than the appropriation of either one alone.
The article can be read here:
One other question: Might self-forgiveness lead to an excessive focus on myself? I do not need self-absorption.
You need the moral virtue of temperance when you forgive others and when you forgive yourself. In other words, take some time, but do not overdo it when forgiving others or yourself. The exercise of the virtue of temperance will be a protection against overdoing a focus on the self.
