Tagged: “Forgiving”
As another question that I have about forgiveness therapy, does the amount of time spent in this form of therapy matter? In other words, is longer better?
Yes, longer is better. Baskin and Enright (1994) showed that forgiveness therapy lasting 12 weeks or longer seems more optimal than short-term therapies. Longer therapies as more effective than short-term therapies also was supported by the meta-analysis by Aktar and Barlow. The references to these two journal articles are as follows:
Baskin, T.W., & Enright, R. D. (2004). Intervention studies on forgiveness: A meta-analysis. Journal of Counseling and Development, 82, 79-90.
Akhtar, S. & Barlow, J. (2018). Forgiveness therapy for the promotion of mental well-being: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Trauma, Violence, and Abuse, 19, 107-122.
You say that the biggest surprise you had when studying forgiveness therapy was its effectiveness when trauma is present in the participants. What was your second biggest surprise?
I think the second biggest surprise is that when people forgive and recover from the effects of trauma, they often develop a new purpose in life. That new purpose is to help others who also are hurting from other people’s mistreatment of them. This new purpose seems to give hope and vitality to those who were carrying a large emotional burden within them.
From your reading, what is the printed origin of person-to-person forgiveness?
It seems to me that the first account of one person forgiving others is in Hebrew scripture, Genesis 37-45, in which Joseph forgives his 10 half-brothers for attempted murder and then selling him into slavery.
Why do you think forgiving another person actually increases the forgiver’s own self-esteem?
As a forgiver works to see the inherent worth in the one who acted unjustly, the forgiver slowly begins to see his own worth as a person. The paradox is that as the forgiver sees the full humanity of the other, then the forgiver begins to see his own full humanity.
May I follow up again? What do you mean when you say that I as a forgiver begin to view the other “more broadly”?
I mean this: There is more to the person who offended you than those unjust actions. Take your own case. Have you ever behaved unjustly toward others? If so, would you want those behaviors to be the final word on who you are as a person? After all, don’t you have the capacity to help others, to love others even when it is difficult for you to offer this kind of love to others? This is the broader perspective. We all have at least the potentiality to be people who help and who love others.
