It seems to me that this “giving of a gift” to those who hurt me is kind of ridiculous.  They deserve correction, not admiration.  Can you clarify this for me?

As people forgive, they are engaging in a moral virtue.  All moral virtues center on goodness toward others for those other people’s sake.  Part of the moral virtue of forgiveness is this gift-giving to the one who acted badly, as you point out.  This gift-giving, we find in our research is a paradox in that, as forgivers reach out to the offending person, it is the forgivers who are healed.

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