Tagged: “injustice”

How can I get rid of my anger if I do not confront the person at whom I am very angry?

It seems that you might be trying to seek justice or maybe even a bit of payback from the person.  I have found that the quest for justice does not always end this kind of anger.  In fact, the quest for justice sometimes can increase the anger if the justice is not realized.  A more sure way of reducing your anger is to try to forgive, but only if you are ready to do so.  You can forgive without the other person being present by engaging in the exercises of what we call the personal, global, and cosmic perspectives.  The gist of these exercises is to see the other in a much broader context than the hurts against you. Try to see the wounds in the other; try to see the common humanity that both of you share.  Such perspectives do take time and so please be gentle with yourself during this time.

For additional information, see The Personal, Global, and Cosmic Perspectives.

I don’t want to forgive a certain person because I am so fuming at what she did.  I simply refuse to think about this person.  Out of sight in this case means out of mind.  I think I will be fine, but I am checking in with you for your opinion.

It is important to realize that when you are “so fuming” it is not necessarily easy to be rid of that anger.  The idea of out of sight and out of mind is not so easily achieved because the emotion of anger is not always controlled by the mind.  The anger, in other words, can resurface.  If you find this happening to you, then you might consider forgiving.

For additional information, see Why Forgive? 

I have been wondering:  Does the forgiveness process itself change my life, or once I forgive, do I then have to consciously and deliberately try to change myself for the better?

The answer is both.  Our research shows that as people forgive, they become more soft-hearted toward the offending person. This can include compassion, empathy, and even love (service to others). At the same time, when people forgive, they then start asking a new question:  What is my new purpose in life now that I have experienced the depth and beauty of forgiving?  This can lead to a motivation to help others.

For additional information, see 8 Reasons to Forgive.

I am somewhat convinced that if a particular person leaves my life, then he will not be hurting my family or me any more.  Am I correct in thinking this way, or should I forgive anyway?

Forgiveness need not be reserved only for the times in which you feel deep resentment which might be making you miserable.  At times, you might want to forgive simply because forgiveness is centered in goodness because it is a moral virtue.  In this latter case, you are forgiving because forgiveness is an end in and of itself.  Regarding this issue of deep resentment, it can stay with us even when people physically move away from us.  They still remain in the heart and the heart can be restless until the offended person forgives.  So, even if the one who hurt you leaves, you can forgive because: a) forgiveness is good in and of itself and b) you might still be resentful and want to be free of that.

For additional information, see Do I Have to Reconcile with the Other When I Forgive?

CORONAVIRUS ANXIETY LEVELS ARE SOARING

As more cities, states, and entire countries go into full lockdown to slow the spread of the coronavirus, psychologists and pandemic experts are warning that we may soon have yet another health crisis on our hands: deteriorating mental health.

“People really need to prepare for self-isolation,” says Dr. Steven Taylor, author of The Psychology of Pandemics and a clinical psychologist at the University of British Columbia. “It’s not enough to stock up on toilet paper. They need to think about what they are going to do to combat boredom.”

Fortunately, the International Forgiveness Institute (IFI) has a solution that will not only provide a diversion from shelter-in-place rules but help you, your children, and all your family members increase your emotional, physical, and mental health despite these stressful times.

LOCKDOWN LESSONS: LEARN TO FORGIVE AT HALF PRICE!

For a limited time only, the IFI is offering its individual and family Curriculum Guides at the never-before-offered price of HALF OFF – a 50% DISCOUNT from the regular price. We’ve reduced the price of all our Curriculum Guides to $15.00 from the regular price of $30.00. That’s the equivalent of purchasing one Guide and getting a second Guide for FREE. 

Mix or match, you can select from our 14 grade-level Curriculum Guides                                (pre-kindergarten through 12th grade), our two Family-Learning Programs, and our        End-of-Life Manual. These are the same tested and proven study guides now being used by parents, teachers, and homeschooling families in the US and more than 30 countries around the world.

Incorporating the latest social-emotional learning principles, these guides teach both children and adults about the five moral qualities most important to forgiving another person–inherent worth, moral love, kindness, respect and generosity. Each guide encompasses 8 or more lessons (one-half to one hour per week for each lesson) and includes Dr. Seuss and other children’s book summaries that help reinforce moral principles.

THE PERFECT SHELTER-AT-HOME FAMILY PROJECT

Through repetitious, peer-reviewed testing, IFI researcher Dr. Robert Enright has scientifically demonstrated that learning how to forgive through Forgiveness Education Curriculum Guides can:

• IMPROVE EMOTIONAL HEALTH – by reducing anger, anxiety, depression, and/or PTSD symptoms.
• ENHANCE PHYSICAL WELL-BEING – by lowering blood pressure, reducing stress hormones, and enhancing one’s immune system.
• IMPROVE PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS – with family, friends, and community.
• BOOST SELF-ESTEEM AND SELF-IMAGE – while increasing hopefulness about the future.