You talk about seeking support in the forgiveness process.  I have a dilemma about that.  I have a good friend (Friend A) with whom I would like to discuss my forgiveness path toward a different friend (Friend B).  Yet, Friend A and Friend B also are friends.  My question is this: How can I get support from Friend A without revealing that my problem is Friend B?  I ask because I do not want to put Friend A on the spot by having to keep my secret from Friend B.

I recommend that when you talk with Friend A, you do not reveal that the one who hurt you is Friend B.  You can talk specifics of the problem, but not talk any specifics about who was unjust to you. When we write case studies in publications, the editors always ask that we mask certain details so that we do not reveal the identities of those people in the case studies.  You can do the same.  Do not reveal names or specific places where the injustice occurred.  It is reasonable to mask the identity of those whom you are discussing in a situation such as yours.

For additional information, see Learning to Forgive Others.

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