Archive for March, 2017

If I “accept the pain” in forgiving, as you say, can I always handle this by myself or might I need help from others some of the time?

Let us take a physical analogy.  Suppose you hurt your knee while running.  You probably know when that pain is so strong as to require medical intervention and when it is not.  It is the same with emotional pain.  If it is strong and on-going, then it is good to seek help from others, perhaps a family member or friend if the pain is not very severe.  If it is very severe, it is best to seek professional help, especially from someone who understands forgiveness and knows the forgiveness process.

Please follow and like us:

Checking in Regarding Your Unfolding Love Story

At the beginning of this year, we posted a reflection here in which we encouraged you to grow in love as your legacy of 2017.

One way to start is by looking backward at one incident of 2017 so far.
Please think of one incident with one person in which you were loved unconditionally, perhaps even surprised by a partner or a parent or a caring colleague.

Think of your reaction when you felt love coming from the other and you felt love in your heart and the other saw it in your eyes. What was said? How were you affirmed for whom you are, not necessarily for something you did? What was the other’s heart like, and yours?

Can you list some specific, concrete ways in which you have chosen love over indifference? Love over annoyance? If so, what are those specifics and how are they loving? We ask because 2017 is about 25% over. Have you engaged in 25% of all the loving responses that you will leave in this world this year?

This exercise is meant to show you this: You know love.  Now the key is to persevere and deliberately strive to love on a daily basis.

Tempus fugit. If you have not yet deliberately left love in the world this year, there is time…..and the clock is ticking.

Robert

Please follow and like us:

27 Forgiveness Quotes to Ponder

.
Use this link to view the complete list of forgiveness quotes that Carpenter compiled in his column: Carpenter’s Column: Two out of three isn’t enough.
Please follow and like us:

The Mathematics of Forgiveness

When we are treated deeply unjustly by others, we have a tendency to be wounded in at least eight ways. First is the injustice itself. Second is theforgive emotional reaction, such as considerable anger or frustration or sadness. Third, we sometimes feel shame because others are looking and wondering. Fourth, all of the above can make us tired. Fifth, we sometimes can’t stop thinking about what happened. Sixth, as we compare ourselves to the one who hurt us, we see ourselves as coming up short. Seventh, we sometimes have to make unwanted changes in our lives. And eighth, we drift into pessimism.

One injustice, eight wounds. Now, suppose one person hurt you deeply 20 times. That is 20 X 8 = 160 wounds you are carrying around inside of you.

Suppose further that 5 other people have hurt you 10 times each……just wait a minute., please….doing the math here……That is 400 more wounds. Adding the first person who hurt you to the other five who hurt you and look. You are carrying around at least 560 wounds inside of you.

Formula Mathematics Equation Mathematical Symbol Geometry Information Concept

Injustice has a way of making us round-shouldered if you think about it. But be of good cheer. Forgiveness properly practiced can eliminate most of these wounds, allowing you to stand up straight perhaps for the first time in years.

Do the math…..then please consider forgiving.

Robert

Please follow and like us:

I am trying to forgive my mother for some things that happened years ago. I am not feeling very angry now and so I am wondering: Am I over this or might I be repressing my anger? How can a person tell if they are repressing anger?

One test of repressed anger is this: As you think of giving the gift of kindness and compassion to your mother, do you feel free inside to give these gifts to her?  If the answer is yes, then you may be over the hurt (whether by forgiveness or some other means).  If you are hesitant to give these gifts to your mother, then you likely do have repressed anger. Starting a forgiveness process and being patient with this may reduce the anger.
Please follow and like us:

VOLUNTEERS NEEDED FOR RESEARCH PROJECT

x