Can I begin the forgiveness process without an actual commitment to forgive, or must I have a firm inner commitment before starting?
Because forgiveness is a process, you do not need a firm commitment to forgive as you start. You can tentatively try forgiving and see how it goes. You can stop for a while and start again. As you progress and deepen in your understanding and appropriation of forgiving, you then may move to the conviction that you are committed to the forgiveness process. One way to start this commitment is to say to yourself that you will do no harm to the one who injured you. This “do no harm” often is the beginning of the commitment for many people who go through our Process Model of Forgiveness.
For additional information, see The Four Phases of Forgiveness.
Categories: Ask Dr. Forgiveness
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