I have heard a lot lately that certain offenses never should be forgiven.  Incest is an example.  So many say that a women who experiences such abuse is foolish to forgive, to offer mercy to the perpetrator.  This makes me so sad for our society that lets bitterness cloud perception.  In my view, forgiveness in this case literally is the only way to heal from the atrocity.  She can set herself free.  I am wondering what your view is of this.

I, too, see a strong tendency in some people to condemn those who forgive atrocities.  Yet, forgiveness is one of those moral virtues that is the chose of the one who was treated unjustly.  If a person chooses to forgive, this truly is the person’s free will decision and others should not stand in the way, insisting that their own will be the final decision.  Even if forgiving is “the only way to heal,” we should not try to force others to forgive.  This is because the choice whether or not to forgive belongs to the one injured.  You could present the case for forgiving, but in the end, the other, upon weighing the evidence, needs to decide.

For additional information, see Forgiveness is a Choice.

Please follow and like us:
Categories: Ask Dr. ForgivenessTags: , , , , ,


Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *