Can forgiveness be too self-centered and therefore morally wrong? In other words, if a person is forgiving for the self—to feel better—it seems all about the self. Also, if a person forgives, isn’t he just letting the other person know that it is ok to engage in the unfairness?
The short answer is no, forgiving others never is overly self-centered or selfish when truly practiced as a moral virtue. Why? This is because forgiving is given to the other as a gift of mercy and love (even if the forgiver never reaches this difficult endpoint of love). Is forgiveness ever immoral because it enables bad behavior? No, it never is immoral precisely because it is a moral virtue and all moral virtues are good in and of themselves. Forgiving does not enable bad behavior because forgiveness and justice need to be a team.