I will never forgive my ex- without his apology.  Forgiveness is conditional, right?  We should withhold forgiving until the other apologizes.  This gives me a sense of respect.

Actually, forgiving unconditionally, without the other first apologizing, is important.  Otherwise, you give the other person too much power over your own healing, over your own inner peace.  Here is an essay from Psychology Today in which I defend the idea that forgiveness does not require an apology from the one who acted unjustly:

Why Forgiving Does Not Require an Apology

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