What do you think is better, to have a motivation to forgive so that the self feels better or to forgive so that the one who was unfair sees the problem and shapes up?

Forgiveness itself is for the other person, as the forgiver offers mercy in the form of kindness, generosity, and love to that person.  There are many motivations to forgive and you mentioned two of them.  Other motivations can include the possibility of reconciliation with that person, or creating a more peaceful world, or being consistent with one’s religious beliefs, as three other examples.  Starting with a motivation of feeling better for the self is not dishonorable because, if the forgiver can reduce resentment, then a next step may be to assist the other person in changing unjust behavior.  In other words, both motivations are good.

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