When I was a child, one of my parents was very unfair to me. I dislike the thought of forgiving because it will remove me from the victim role. I realize that may seem strange, but all I know is my victim identity. Furthermore, I’m not quite ready to exonerate my parent for what happened to me. Could you please provide me some context on this?

You are not alone in finding change tough; many people find it difficult as well. Even if it is painful, you appear to feel secure in your current victim position. In the long term, adopting the identity of a survivor or even a thriver could be beneficial for you.  Are you prepared to take a chance on temporary uneasiness in order to obtain this new, potentially healthier identity?

When you forgive your parent, you likely will experience healing  You also give your parent another chance when you forgive.

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