My friend feels that I’ve hurt her feelings by something that I said. I’m not on board. In other words, I have carefully examined the situation and I truly think that I said nothing egregious, nothing wrong, not even with my tone of voice.  Now, she is requesting an apology. She’s threatening to permanently leave my life if I don’t agree. In spite of this conflict, I would rather that not occur. How should I proceed?  I really don’t think that I should apologize, given I did no wrong, but should I still?

Choosing between friendship and the truth is a big decision. I advise you to select both. “I am sorry that you were hurt by what I said [then specify the issue],” is how I would honestly address the situation if I were in your shoes.

I’m assuming you wish, whatever it was she believes you did to her, didn’t hurt her. You would be acknowledging this. . You’re not expressing regret for a supposed injustice that you say you did not commit.

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