I’ve been told by someone I know that I harbor unwarranted animosity toward her. She tells me that I have created false impressions about her throughout the course of our relationship and that she follows my best judgement in everything she does. I’m not sure if my resentment is warranted, but it feels like it. In what ways am I justified? If she claims that she did nothing wrong, then why do I still harbor animosity for her? Am I being overly sensitive?  How can I discern if I am exaggerating or if she is denying?

Do you have a pattern with her in that she makes these claims frequently or is this about one and only one incident?  If it is a pattern, and if you use common sense and wisdom, do you see unfairness coming from her?  If so, then she may be in denial.  Another way of checking who is accurate is this: Is there anyone else in your life who accuses you in a similar way?  In other words, do others claim that you are harshly judging them?  If not, and if your common sense and your conscience are telling you that her actions are wrong, then they probably are.  If this is the case, the next step is to help her with her denial.  Is she afraid of admitting wrong, do you think?  If so, try to ascertain why she might be fearful to admit wrong.

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