Author Archive: directorifi
Forgiveness Perfect Gift for the Holidays
If you want your holidays to be happier, Dr. Robert Enright suggests giving the gift of forgiveness. While it is helpful any time of the year, it can be especially welcome during the holidays.
Dr. Robert Enright
“All the past pains can come tumbling down during the holidays,” Enright says.
“It’s not just a time for being with family but for reflecting back. It can be very painful.”
Enright, a professor of educational psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, pioneered the scientific study of forgiveness–a field that now claims more than 1,000 researchers worldwide. He has spent more than 25 years researching the power of forgiveness and letting go of anger.
Enright’s research has shown that practicing forgiveness can reduce depression and anxiety and has also helped cardiac patients have better functioning hearts.
“Simply put, forgiveness is good for you,” Enright says.
This excerpt is from a UW-Madison News story on the university’s website. Read the full article: “Forgiveness perfect gift for the holidays.” The article outlines the four steps in what Dr. Enright calls “the journey of forgiveness” which he detailed in the self-help book, “Forgiveness is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope.” In another of the five books he has written, “The Forgiving Life: A Pathway to Overcoming Resentment and Creating a Legacy of Love,” Dr. Enright’s guidance does more than prepare you for a single act of forgiveness–it explains how you can live the forgiving life.
Mother of Man Shot in $10 Robbery Offers His Killer Forgiveness
WWAY News Channel 3, Wilmington, NC – Nineteen-year-old Joshua Proutey was leaving the Hannah Block Community Arts Center when he was shot in the head and killed on Dec. 13, 2012. Investigators say the killer and three others who robbed Proutey made off with $10, a cell phone and a sandwich.
Detectives eventually captured the gunman, Quintel Grady, who avoided the death penalty the state was seeking by pleading guilty to first-degree murder. His three accomplices still face charges in the case including murder and robbery.
Proutey’s mother says that in the year since her son was shot and killed, she has struggled to find the will to live. But as Grady pleaded guilty this week, she found the will to forgive the man who took her son’s life.
“This young man touched a lot of lives,” District Attorney Ben David said of Proutey. “He knew no hate and his mother’s willingness to forgive his killer is beyond admirable.”
Read the full story and watch the newscast: “Victim’s mom offers forgiveness as son’s killer pleads guilty.”
Widow Forgives Man Who Killed Her Soldier Husband
MailOnline, London, England – The widow of a former decorated soldier who was killed by a single punch during an early-morning fight over a taxi has offered her complete forgiveness to his killer.
David Ryding, 26, died after being knocked out by Ben Hartwell, 22, on July 7 during a heated argument while the pair waited at a taxi stand in Rugby, Warwickshire. The recently married father-of-one, who left active duty in 2011, hit his head on the ground after being struck by Hartwell. He died in a hospital the following day. An inquest into his death determined that Hartwell acted in self-defense and no charges were filed.
Following the inquest, Ryding’s widow Nicola requested a meeting with Hartwell where she told him she did not blame him and wanted him to move forward with his life.
“Our family and Mr. Hartwell’s family have been deeply affected by the events which took place and just hope that if any good can come from this tragedy, it is that awareness will be raised regarding the tragic results an instantaneous event such as this can lead to,” Nicola Ryding said. “Our thoughts are with Mr. Hartwell and all his family and we hope he can come to terms with what happened and move on with his life.”
“David will be in our hearts forever and live on in the wonderful memories we shared,” she added. “We are satisfied that the inquest was conducted thoroughly and we respect the verdict made.”
Read the full story: Widow’s extraordinary forgiveness towards the man who killed her soldier husband.
Nelson Mandela and the Power of Forgiveness
The Center for Multicultural Education at the University of Northern Iowa (Cedar Falls, Iowa), hosted a “Nelson Mandela Tribute” on Dec. 9. One of the speakers at the Tribute was Suzanne Freedman, Ph.D., Professor of Educational Psychology and Foundations at UNI. Here is an excerpt from her presentation:
Nelson Mandela was not full of rage and violence when released from prison after 27 years. He developed a vision while in prison, a vision that we are all in this together and that violence is not the solution. He showed the people in his country and the world that revenge is not the answer to years of injustice and mistreatment. He showed generosity and mercy when he could have shown revenge and bitterness. He decided not to avenge himself on those who treated him with such cruelty.
He transformed in prison and realized the humanity in all people, even those he fought against. He stood against apartheid and managed to change a nation without violence and hatred. His actions demonstrated great strength and courage as well as moral principles. He was able to sit down with his enemies and plan a better future for South Africa. He is said to have saved South Africa from civil war and lead a nation to democracy.
Nelson Mandela’s actions showed his people that forgiveness was possible and as a result, gave the people in South Africa hope for a better future.
Read Dr. Freedman’s full presentation Nelson Mandela and the Power of Forgiveness. Dr. Freedman is a Contributing Writer and Researcher for the International Forgiveness Institute.
Unless we eliminate the anger in the hearts of those who bully, we will not eliminate bullying.
It is our contention that bullying starts from within, as anger, and comes out as displaced anger onto the victim. Our new Anti-Bullying Forgiveness Program targets this anger and then reduces it, thus reducing or eliminating the displaced anger which comes out as bullying.
