Tagged: “Forgiveness books”

Hi Dr. Enright, I’m enjoying your 8 steps book. I’ve also been enjoying learning about self-compassion from the works by Kristin Neff. She has a 20 minute self-guided meditation which I often practice. I wonder if you have something similar for forgiveness? I really appreciate the work you’ve done!

While we do not have a specific 20-minute reflection for forgiveness, we do have exercises that can be done on a regular basis in the self-help book, Forgiveness Is a Choice, an Amazon.com best seller. There are further exercises in the two other self-help books, The Forgiving Life and 8 Keys to Forgiveness.

Additional information about all three books is available in the IFI Store.

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Two-Time Terrorist Attack Survivor Forgives Assailants

The Gazette, Colorado Springs, CO – An American survivor of two terrorist attacks has a message for the assailants: “I forgive you.”

Mason Wells, a 20-year-old missionary from Sandy, Utah, was a short distance from one of the two bombs that exploded near the finish line of the Boston Marathon in 2013, killing three spectators and wounding 260 others. Neither he nor his mother, who was running in the race, was injured.

Three years later, Wells was only 10 feet from the first bomb to explode at the Zaventem International Airport in Brussels, Belgium during a terrorist attack that killed 32 people and injured about 260 others. Wells suffered extensive burns to his face and hands, shrapnel wounds to his head, and blast wounds to his lower legs. 

Yesterday, Dec. 15, 2017, Wells delivered a powerful message to the terrorists in an op-ed video he recorded for the New York-based media company Mic. Addressing the Belgium attackers, Wells said:

“What you did was evil. You killed innocent people and meaningful lives. 

I still carry scars from that day, but I have chosen to forgive you. I have learned that the decision to forgive is ours and ours alone.

By forgiving you and getting past the events of that day, I’ve become a stronger person. It’s about letting go of yesterday and not letting the hardest moments of our lives define us. I want you to know that good has come in the wake of your evil acts.

Wells recently wrote a book, Left Standing, about his ordeal. In it, he outlines how he learned to forgive the Brussels attackers for their atrocities. He’s now enrolled at the U.S. Naval Academy, where he’s studying engineering.

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Future Forgiveness for You

To grow in any virtue is similar to building muscle in the gym through persistent hard work. We surely do not want to overdo anything, including the pursuit of fitness.

Yet, we must avoid under-doing it, too, if we are to continue to grow. It Muscles3is the same with forgiveness. We need to be persistently developing our forgiveness muscles as we become forgivingly fit. This opportunity is now laid out before you. What will you choose? Will you choose a life of diversion, comfort, and pleasure, or the more exciting life of risking love, challenging yourself to forgive, and helping others in their forgiveness fitness?

Enright, Robert D. (2012-07-05). The Forgiving LifeA Pathway to Overcoming Resentment and Creating a Legacy of Love (APA Lifetools) (Kindle Locations 5359-5360). American Psychological Association. Kindle Edition.

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Which book would you recommend would work better for someone who wants to use forgiveness to break free from the past, and move ahead – Forgiveness is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope or The Forgiving Life: A Pathway to Overcoming Resentment and Creating a Legacy of Love or 8 Keys to Forgiveness

If you are interested in excelling in forgiving, then I would recommend this:

1) First read 8 Keys to Forgiveness which will give you an overview and, I hope, some inspiration to forgive one particular person for an injustice caused to you.

2) Next, turn to Forgiveness Is a Choice which focuses specifically on forgiving this one person.

3) Finally, the advanced course is The Forgiving Life, which helps you to forgive in a wide and deep way and then to give away to others the idea of forgiveness for their good.

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