Author Archive: directorifi
Essays on Forgiveness at the Psychology Today Website
Dr. Robert Enright
So far, in 2026, Dr. Enright has the following essays posted on the Psychology Today website:
How to Stop Blaming Yourself When Your Partner Is Abusive, May 5, 2026
The Emotions Behind Forgiveness, April 22, 2026
Do You Really Think You Know What Forgiveness Is?, March 24, 2026
Protecting Yourself if You Want to Forgive, February 19, 2026
Once Broken, How Can Trust Be Restored in a Relationship?, January 19, 2026
Recent Journal Publications with Authors from Our International Forgiveness Institute, Inc.
Jichan Kim, Associate Professor of Psychology at Liberty University. (Photo by KJ Jugar)
Kim, J. & Enright, R.D. (in press). Clarifying the virtue of forgiveness in restorative justice: A commentary on Palazzolo. Journal of Theoretical and Philosophical Psychology
Li, Y., Kim, J., Song, J., & Enright, R.D. (in press). Validating the Enright Forgiveness Motivation Inventory (EFMI). Current Psychology
The Enright Forgiveness Motivation Inventory (EFMI) now is available to request on our website here:
https://internationalforgiveness.com/product/the-enright-forgiveness-motivation-inventory/
Anger is a normal reaction to injustice, right? Do we repress some anger when we forgive?
Anger does seem to be a natural part of reacting to injustice. We need to remember that anger can be felt and expressed along a continuum. If the anger is short-lived and not extremely intense, then it can be useful in energizing a person who then strives to correct the injustice. When anger becomes extreme, both in its duration and intensity, forgiveness can be an effective way to control it. Forgiveness exercised in the right way (by not denying the injustice and not denying the angry reaction) can actually reduce the anger. When this happens, the anger is not repressed but instead is diminished.
It appears that my mother has a lot of guilt. Now she constantly asks me to forgive her for the way she raised me as a child. Actually, this is not a huge concern for me because she did well as my mom. So, even though I don’t believe she did anything wrong, should I tell her that I forgive her?
Your mother seems to need your reassurance that you love her and that she is a good person. Her standards for herself are higher than yours in judging her parenting skills. If it were me, I would say something like this: “When people forgive others, they see the others as worthwhile and of great value. Mom, you are of great worth and of infinite value to me. When people forgive others, they love them. Mom, I love you without condition. Now that I have shown the attributes of forgiveness to you, may I make a suggestion? I think you should forgive yourself for anything you think you might have done that still makes you feel guilty. I want you to have peace regarding how you raised me. I think you did a wonderful job of that.”
There are moments when I simply don’t want to forgive. When I feel so indifferent about forgiving, what do you recommend?
Forgiveness includes our feelings, but it includes so much more. As a moral virtue, it has the characteristics that all the other moral virtues (such as justice, patience, and kindness) include: one’s will to engage in the virtue, one’s thoughts, and how one behaves.
When your feelings are indifferent, please focus on your will to forgive. Your free-will motivation usually is stronger than your feelings. Also, try to focus on your thoughts (“I forgive Person A for…..”). Try to cultivate thoughts of the inherent worth of the other person, seeing this person as worthwhile, not because of what was done to you, but in spite of this. Finally, try to behave in a forgiving way even if you do not feel like it. A smile or a kind word to the person is a step toward forgiveness.
