I have an insight, and I wonder what you think about it. We have a family member who is quite alienated from the rest of our family. This is the case because he is rather rude and hurtful to others. I am wondering whether he needs to forgive himself first, because my conjecture is that he doesn’t like himself. If he forgives himself first, do you think he might stop the rudeness?
Actually, it may be the case that he was hurt at some time in the past by others, and so he now is displacing his anger and discontent onto others. If this is the case, he first may need to forgive those who hurt him in the past. After that is accomplished, he then could work on self-forgiveness and seek forgiveness from the family members he hurt by his actions. I find that self-forgiveness can be a more challenging process than forgiving others because we tend to be harder on ourselves than on others. So, forgiving others from his past may help him to become more familiar with the forgiveness process, making it easier for him to forgive himself.
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