I have been divorced for 10 years. I can honestly say that I no longer have what you call “toxic anger” toward my ex-spouse. I never actually engaged in the forgiveness process. I kind of just let it go and the anger went away, too. Do you think I still need to consider forgiveness?
A researcher, Judith Wallerstein, did a longitudinal study of divorced people and she found that, even 10 years after divorce, many people still were fuming with anger. This does not seem to be the case for you. If you carefully examine your level of anger, including the possibility that you are not denying the depth of your anger, then it is possible that you have, as you say, moved on without excessive anger. If, on the other hand, the anger should again surface for you, then you do have the possibility of beginning the forgiveness process. It never is too late to forgive if you think you need to do this.
Learn more at Forgiveness for Couples.
Learn more about Wallerstein’s Research on Divorce.
Categories: Ask Dr. Forgiveness
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