How can one reconcile with a NPD spouse, who has been emotionally and physically abusive and forced to leave?

Reconciliation involves trust and trust needs to be established slowly, especially when your spouse, who suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), was forced to leave. Is your spouse interested in reconciling? If so, I strongly recommend that you see if your spouse is beginning to develop what I call “the 3 R’s” of remorse or inner sorrow, repentance or sincerely apologizing to you for the multiple offenses, and recompense or making up for the damage done within reason.
Further, those with narcissism need to be convinced that they have a problem and one possible opening for this is to see if your spouse is truly willing to understand and to practice humility, which is the direct opposite of a narcissistic pattern. You can read more on humility here:

Humility: What Can It Do for You? (This link will take you to my personal guidance column at Psychology Today.)

With perseverance from both of you, your spouse may slowly become convicted of the need for more humility and the practice of the 3 R’s. I wish you the best in this courageous journey.
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